“Help yourself and God will help you”, goes the saying. I guess this is perfectly valid if you buy a digital camera for example. You can try very hard and by chance you may discover its features if you are the talented type. Otherwise you just have to read the provided instructions. This is valid when learning by yourself is usually more effective than praying. The importance of self help is undeniable these days. Actually there is a whole industry built around this recognition. The question arises: Isn’t this overrated? Is self help truly the only way to deliverance?

In the game of help there are 3 players involved:

1. you
2. an other person
3. God

So, when you need some help, you have 3 possibilities to get it. Three sources. For the atheist, there are just 2. Good enough.

A major issue to be clarified here is the nature of the needed help. Figuring out how the camera works is important. But there might be even more demanding situations. There can be effective crisis situations in life when getting help is vital. There can be serious health problems, family problems, social problems where getting help is of utmost importance.

In terms of self development, the concept of help is getting quite specific connotations. What is the need here? What kind of help is needed? Is there a problem or a crisis that needs help? This is a different kind of help we are talking about.

As our society got more evolved technologically, the 3rd player got more and more excluded. Rationality and faith are seldom walking hand in hand. Although personal development doesn’t necessarily involves technological aspects, the 3rd player wasn’t taken back in the game. Two players seem to be enough.

The help you can get from the 2nd player is dependent on two things: friendship and/or interest. In the self developmental context, this can be clearly seen. There are people willing to help you out of friendship and people who will help you for money or something else in return.

Then there is the 1st player in the game of help. When this is the case, it is called self-help. Is one player enough for the game? You have to admit that with all the effectiveness and promptitude of self help, it is not possible to use this option only. The 2nd player has to be involved. In terms of a healthy social life or life in general it is vital to be able to get help from other people.

Finally, this might sound one sided. It is about getting help, no mention of giving help. I deliberately did not approach the issue of offering, giving help here. Altruism and effective help are to be discussed separately.

Conclusions:

• Help in self developmental context is different in its nature.
• To rely on self-help only is a mere illusion and a mistake.
• It is essential to learn how to get help for our self developmental needs.

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