For self development addicts.

Obsession of Identity

September 15th, 2007, by Attila Borcsa in Conscious living, 8 Comments

It seems to me that the concept of ‘reaching the soul’ stirred up the biggest questions here on Vertegram. Contrary to how it is in the common knowledge, I choose to define soul as a possibility. Something that is available only as a potentiality. Something that needs to be actualized, needs to be brought forward. Let’s dwell into it some more.

… the need for a strong ego …

I often hear that it is a requirement for spiritual development that you have ‘a strong ego’. Sometimes it is even aggravated by making it a necessity of such great importance that it is useless to start any spiritual practice without it. Why is this considered so important? Is it so that there should be no spiritual development unless having a ’strong ego’?

Giving it a second thought, the idea is not completely wrong. You must have seen people involved so much in some “spiritual” practice that they truly needed some grounding. On the other hand, I would not consider that – whatever they were doing – spiritual practice. Rather some form of escaping from their life. Nevertheless, the ’strong ego’ advocacy I tend to see as the other side of the coin. Usually it is propagated by disillusioned former “spiritual practicers”.

Comparative reality vs. existential reality

If spiritual development starts where personal development ends, which I like to call the moment/space of the soul, then this is where the ’strong ego’ theory is no longer valid. Spiritual development is all about neutralizing the influence of what previously you’ve built. So far, you’ve been searching your place in the world, coming up to expectations, building your identity. Your whole existence was marked by a comparative reality. All built up in time with great effort and a lot of energy invested. Now you will hardly let it go. But spiritual development requires you to turn towards an other form of reality, the existential reality.

Worse than the fear of death

Your identity is your own comparative reality. It is your money, your status, your charm etc. that you can hardly let go. Your identity is your biggest obsession. You do not want to live without it even for a second. Loosing your identity seems far worse than death itself. If there is the slightest chance to see your identity saved in some form after death, then you can deal with the fear of dying. But loosing your identity seems far worse. It is the biggest of all fears.

Spiritual development turns you towards existential reality. ‘Existential Reality’ is the label that is attached to the way reality really is. It is a positive existence. The spirit is always expressed or symbolized by light. Light has a positive existence. Darkness is defined in comparison to light. Darkness exists in a comparative reality, doesn’t have a positive existence.

So, just like that, your identity – that you hold on to even more than to life itself,- doesn’t have a positive existence. It must be strange from the point of view of existential reality how obsessed we are with it, how desperately we hang on to it. To something which is not.

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Comments on "Obsession of Identity":

  1. teodora says:
    September 15th, 2007 at 6:08 pm

    I think that strong ego they speak of is not an exaggerated identity or egoism but a healthy character or something that will keep you out of the lunatic asylum after meeting spirits or whatever. Like saying you need strong legs to play football but you don’t have to be a foot fetishist yearning for a bigger shoe collection.

    I seriously doubt people can make themselves fully independent of their ego, those who say so usually live in an illusion. Most of them follow some practice with clear rules telling the “signs” of being on the right way to freedom, so they can say they are more developed souls because they dont have sex or dont drink, or behave this or that way… while imo it’s just changing desires. Those I met from this kind were absolutely blind towards themselves too, enjoying the comfort of being right on track to nirvana. :)

    I don’t think there’s a solution to the contradictions above. Getting close to letting go? Getting up early each morning just to practice how you don’t give a damn about things? Being aware and paranoid about all the influences and vibrations that can divert you from getting unaffected? lol.

  2. Attila Borcsa (author) says:
    September 15th, 2007 at 6:32 pm

    Quite ironical we are today, aren’t we ;) But much to agree with in what you say. Lunatics are in need of grounding, but I guess that’s part of an imbalanced, unhealthy personality. Neurosis at least. The problem here is that they think it is a spiritual practice what they are musing about. There is no spiritual development unless one is healthy. None. Instead of a strong ego, I would say that health is the very basic requirement to start something in that direction. And until this is not perfectly fulfilled, the contradiction – as you say – will be there. But a strong ego is not a sign of health either.
    How can be practiced that part, about don’t even giving a damn about things? I’m curious on that and lol too.

  3. teodora says:
    September 15th, 2007 at 7:06 pm

    I wouldn’t call it practice but spiritual (kind of) experiences are a possibility to anyone at any “level”. Not sure if there’s a difference in quality cos health is just another human invention.
    As for developing spirits, is there a test on how high you can fly from your body in a minute or how many teaspoons you can bend? :)

  4. Attila Borcsa (author) says:
    September 15th, 2007 at 7:26 pm

    Sure, I can fly out of my body in an instant when I start a shower with ice cold water. My body follows me only after a few seconds.
    Regarding the health part, the concept is indeed an invention and pertains to relative judgment. Still, the signs of illness are many.
    On the other hand, there is the quite exact methodology of yoga, which states very clear the necessity of health in order to start applying procedures. Many think of yoga as a healing method – even a sport – which per definitionem is not.

  5. brian says:
    September 16th, 2007 at 10:00 am

    Hi! Have just subscribed,thanks for the interesting blog. I can see that health – however it is defined- can be very helpful to spiritual development but do not see it as essential. Often, however, the notion of one’s own “purity” and “wellness” becomes a marker of that development. This i have noticed particularly around circles where yoga is practiced with some, but by no means all, practitioners becoming identified with their health and the condition of their body, and dismissive of those who do not – or cannot- reach such a “high” condition.
    Despite this reservation, i agree with the main point of your article about our fear of losing our identity. The irony is, however, that the identity to which we cling so hard is, in fact, built of a series of negatives. It has been constructed from cradle by a continual proces of differentiation and consists of a long series of self-statements which, even though they began before language, amount to “I am me because i am not you and this is the way we differ”.

  6. Attila Borcsa (author) says:
    September 16th, 2007 at 12:33 pm

    Brian, thanks for joining and welcome!
    Becoming identified with the condition of the body is a lot easier when vitality is effervescent. But also if the body has some handicap (for so many reasons) it might be even easier. I agree with you that this identification becomes an addiction or obsession at times. Still, being able to start some real yoga practice requires health. Or if the word is proper, then let’s say some balance and vitality, not only on the physical side. When we say health, usually we think of the physical health, and less of the mental. And it is so many times easier to reach a state of physical health than the mental one…
    It is interesting to realize how identity is formed by – as you say – “a series of negatives”. This comparative reality is slowly developing in us since we were born. And those who wish to get into some form of spiritual development are faced with the paradox of neutralizing what they have built with such effort, “constructed from cradle”.

  7. Razvan says:
    September 18th, 2007 at 11:04 am

    maybe it’a little off topic but I noticed (in the american media mainly) that they teach people to expect a hero to save them: Superman, Batman, Spiderman, Captain Planet, Captain Sky, Inspector Gadget, Robocop and so on, in order to keep people from doing something for self development.

  8. Mat says:
    June 25th, 2008 at 3:53 am

    Seeing the soul is not possible or more people would have reported it with full descriptions.

    It is ever present clear awareness to our sense of perception, when we do feel the sight of our soul.

    The soul is like an unborn self, we “grow on top” of it.

    A Root grows upward and yields a beautiful flower. How does a flower know itself? It thinks it will always be there,
    its only concern is the flower.

    In the winter, the flower is gone. The root will grow again another beautiful flower.

    We are the root that never dies as an unborn self is never born so it can not die. We grow on the outside like bacteria.

    We can all experience the truth of this.
    Relax and look inside, what do you see?
    What do you feel? Now after that what is the color or sound of or shape of the soul.

    pure clear awareness and the body connected to the unborn self.

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