For self development addicts.

See what happens if you refuse to grow up

Bored kid - photo by Steve WoodsAccording to all signs, being an adult is about doing useful things, instead of what you would enjoy. Nonetheless, the choice of never growing up is tempting and looks like it’s available. The option of attaching ourselves to the freedom and informality of childhood is there. Being convulsively linked to the idea of no bondages, total freedom and acting accordingly, like a forever true rebel is a scene available to you if you just take a look around. It might be there if you look attentively at yourself. Should this attitude be considered wrong by all means? Is adulthood doomed to bone-dry rationality? Is it worthed at all to grow up?

What do the kids see on the faces of adults? Always being after something, with their heads down, carrying briefcases or shopping bags, always in hurry to offices or malls. They seem like being out of tune, doing it all half-hearted. A wise and framework-oriented kid could even phrase it like this:

  1. They live their lives according to the principles of rationality.
  2. They need to be effective.
  3. They need to be unbiased.
  4. They see obstacles everywhere that are waiting for being handled.
  5. They need to be in control of everything.

So here is the question again. Is it worthed to grow up? An here is a tougher one. Is there a way to avoid growing up?

No. This is my answer to both questions. Of course it’s not worthed if the picture is so gloomy.

Regarding avoidance, the NO answer seems fatalist. But in fact there is no way to make growing up avoidable.

The only way to run away from growing up is a young death.

Time flows unstoppable. At a certain moment you have to give your answer to the question of growing up. No way you can avoid this. Nevertheless you can postpone it. You can postpone it infinitely. Then, look what happens. You might turn into a repugnant little dwarf who’s hairy legs peep out from the trousers.

That’s what happens.

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Comments on "See what happens if you refuse to grow up":

  1. teodora says:
    April 6th, 2007 at 11:05 am

    Nice post. The first sentence is easily misunderstood:
    “being an adult is about doing useful things, instead of what you would enjoy”

    Doing things we enjoy has nothing to do with maturity, and leading a life without enjoying (most of) the things someone does is not maturity either, it’s called stupidity. And the fact that most grown-ups are bitter is rather a sign of their immaturity that they couldn’t yet find their happiness and their place in the word.
    Grown-ups are just too clever to explain things and make excuses for themselves and way too irresponsible in making their kids inherit their falseness. If you ask them why they are sad and angry they prolly tell something about the goverment, taxation, their boss, their mother-in-law, or even the cutting of the rainforests… instead of their failures in life, living in unwanted relationships, doing unwanted jobs and being a coward in general. If anything’s worth avoiding in ‘adulthood’ then it’s not the problems, responsibilities or hairy legs (try a razor;) but these lies.

  2. Attila Borcsa says:
    April 6th, 2007 at 6:14 pm

    Thanks teodora! I see you’ve got the point. Obviously blaming something/someone outside of us is the easy way to go. If you wouldn’t be so sever with them, you could say also that these lies are not conscious lies. Anyway, right now I am in a visit at my mother in law, so I will behave ;)

  3. teodora says:
    April 7th, 2007 at 11:15 am

    Maybe maturity has something to do with being concious, too.

  4. April 7th, 2007 at 4:03 pm

    The question is, how do you define ‘rationality’.

    In my opinion, rationality is relative… Why should you accept the rationality of TV, the news / your parents, teachers… Yes, there are some fortunate cases, when your parents & teachers give you a good look at life… but in many cases unfortunately don’t.

    But you can create your own reality… which is obviously the best for you. You are the ‘master of yourself’, you are the person who knows you best. So it’s you who can help yourself & make your own reality.

  5. April 12th, 2007 at 6:11 pm

    Life is more fun after we grow up but act like again!

    Well, if we keep on living we grow up and this is reality and there is no way to avoid growing up. But I found growing up to be a great experience. The older I become the more wisdom I acquire and the more fun life becomes. I love the fact I’m grown up and now know a hell of a lot more now then when I was 10- 20 -30 ect.

    I think the problem with most adults is they worry to much about what others will think so they do what someone else wants or expects and not what they want to do. Get a life folks, or should I say live your own life and do what you want to do. Did you become an engineer because your parents wanted you to even though you hate engineering? Well that’s your fault pal, if you’re now grown up and out of the nest, go back to school and learn a profession you want. Now don’t tell you don’t have the time, ever hear of night school, go back part time!

    Life is short as the saying goes. This is not a dress rehearsal! It’s up to you to be happy, no one can make you happy except yourself. Other people can make you feel good but only you can make yourself truly happy.

    One way to do this is by trying to become a kid again! Think like a kid; think like you were 10 or 20. Do some of the things you did when you were younger. Ride a bicycle again, put on your roller skates, kick the soccer ball, go swimming naked, go hiking, play cards with friends, play ping pong, go behind the barn and sneek a cigarett, lay in the grass and look at the blue sky, or if it’s night look at the stars, go sleep in a tent, chase butterflies, send away for a ring that glows in the dark, go fishing with friends, play chess, smoke a pipe, play board games, contact an old childhood friend and reminisce! Fall in love! You get the picture!

    Wow, life is great, and I’m really glad I got to grow up because now I have earned the right to act like a kid again!

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